Being There - Deepening

You’re building capacity. Each session should get slightly easier - or reveal new layers of what you’ve been avoiding.

Solo Practice Options

Since you may not have a practice partner, here are options ranked roughly by intensity:

A large plant: Facing something alive creates more presence than facing inanimate objects. Plants don’t judge, don’t respond, but there’s a quality of life that registers.

A window with a view: Looking outward into space can be easier than facing a wall. The view provides some visual interest without being distracting.

A picture or photo: Facing an image creates a kind of relationship. Choose something meaningful but not emotionally activating.

A meaningful object: Something you value. A gift, an heirloom, something representing something important to you.

A blank wall (hardest): No visual interest at all. Just you and empty space. This is surprisingly difficult. The mind has nothing to hook on and tends to revolt.

Experiment to find what works for your current level. Start easier, progress to harder over time.

Noticing Subtle Avoidance

As you get better at sitting still externally, notice internal avoidance. These are subtle ways of not-being-there while appearing to be there:

Daydreaming: Mentally going elsewhere. Fantasy, memory, projection. Eyes are open, facing the object, but attention is in imagination.

Planning: Keeping busy internally. Running through to-do lists, thinking about what you’ll do later. This is socially acceptable avoidance - it looks like being responsible but functions as escape.

Analyzing: Turning the experience into thinking. “Why am I feeling restless? What does this mean? Am I doing this right?” Analysis substitutes for direct experience.

Checking out: Going numb, blank. Not thinking but also not present. A kind of low-power mode where nothing registers.

These are all ways of leaving while appearing to stay. The practice is to notice them, gently return to actual presence, notice again, return again.

Today’s Practice

Do Being There for 10 minutes. This is the target duration - if you can be present for 10 minutes, you have significant capacity.

Choose what you’ll face. Sit. Be there.

Notice specifically:

• Any subtle avoidance patterns (daydreaming, planning, analyzing, checking out)
• When you catch yourself in one, gently return to simply being present
• Whether the quality of presence shifts over the 10 minutes